ShamWoW, Slap Chop, and the Graty!!!
WHO IS THIS GUY???? AND WHY DO I WANT TO BUY HIS PRODUCTS????
First he hawked the ShamWoW, now he’s on TV again with the incredible Slap Chop and companion Graty — buy NOW!! I checked out the website (www.slapchop.com) — and he ain’t lying — if you call in to order, the price is lower and you get a free chopping board!!
This guy is GRATE (heehee, a little pun). No, really, he is perfect for pitching products. The first time I saw the ShamWow commercial I couldn’t quite like him, but I couldn’t quite dis-like him. After watching the commercial several times, I almost bought ShamWoWs for everyone for Christmas (I caught myself before I committed). His style is interesting — clearly he is on TV and so the audio is recorded with a boom, but he wears a headset as if he were talking to us at homeshow or the state fair. The products are, eh, so-so. Come on, I can clean up a mess in the house with a free product called “Mister Man’s ratty ol’ t-shirts that not even he can wear anymore,” — those things other people call “rags.” (Mister Man takes pride in his riches to rags wear — but that’s another post).
Now we are being sold the Slap Chop and the Graty — and I find myself mysteriously desiring these products — this guy has sucked me in — I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!
But, that’s the point, no? Again, we are being sold the sizzle, not the steak (I know, obscure reference — in a former life I worked in retail and was trained to sell, sell, sell). I already have kitchen implements that fulfill chopping functions — uh, like KNIVES. I even have a 20 year old cuisinart and a 24 year old blender. I don’t need a Slap chop — get me something really innovative, like a BITCH SLAP CHOP!.
So, who is this guy? Check out his wiki entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer
Yes, he is a real person, and he OWNS the products he hawks! He’s an ex-scientologist that sued the church (yay for him), he sued Anna Nicole Smith, he’s sued everyone in Hollywood! Move over Ron Popeil – Vince is the new permutation of the shyster or purveyor of snake oil.
February 1, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Just wait till I get my headset and go on tv hawking my personalized line of “Mister Man’s ratty ol’ t-shirts that not even he can wear anymore.” They won’t be free anymore, baby. I might even hit the State Fair circuit. And I feel the need to point out that it’s not “riches to rags”, but more like “water level poverty to rags,” in that I don’t take expensive clothes and reduce them to rags, I take CHEAP clothes and reduce them to rags. And you probably didn’t know this, but after you use them as rags, I still wear them again.
February 1, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Uh, actually, I do notice . . . what you don’t realize is that I eventually throw you “fashion line” into the trash (monday mornings after you have gone to work, right before the trash truck shows up).
February 1, 2009 at 5:59 pm
And they leave them for me in a pile around the corner. They don’t want them, either. Where did you think I got so many old ratty Thin Lizzy t-shirts?
February 3, 2009 at 2:41 pm
D and I like the ‘are you still with me camera guy?’ line.