ShamWoW, Slap Chop, and the Graty!!!

WHO IS THIS GUY????                 AND WHY DO I WANT TO BUY HIS PRODUCTS????

slapchop_featuresFirst he hawked the ShamWoW, now he’s on TV again with the incredible Slap Chop and companion Graty — buy NOW!!  I checked out the website (www.slapchop.com) — and he ain’t lying — if you call in to order, the price is lower and you get a free chopping board!!

This guy is GRATE (heehee, a little pun).   No, really, he is perfect for pitching products.  The first time I saw the ShamWow commercial I couldn’t quite like him, but I couldn’t quite dis-like him.   After watching the commercial several times, I almost bought ShamWoWs for everyone for Christmas (I caught myself before I committed).  His style is interesting — clearly he is on TV and so the audio is recorded with a boom, but he wears a headset as if he were talking to us at homeshow or the state fair.  The products are, eh, so-so.  Come on, I can clean up a mess in the house with a free product called “Mister Man’s ratty ol’ t-shirts that not even he can wear anymore,” — those things other people call “rags.”  (Mister Man takes pride in his riches to rags wear — but that’s another post).

Now we are being sold the Slap Chop and the Graty — and I find myself mysteriously desiring these products — this guy has sucked me in — I WANT, I WANT, I WANT!!

But, that’s the point, no?  Again, we are being sold the sizzle, not the steak (I know, obscure reference — in a former life I worked in retail and was trained to sell, sell, sell).  I already have kitchen implements that fulfill chopping functions — uh, like KNIVES.  I even have a 20 year old cuisinart and a 24 year old blender.  I don’t need a  Slap chop — get me something really innovative, like a BITCH SLAP CHOP!.

So, who is this guy?  Check out his wiki entry:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Offer

Yes, he is a real person, and he OWNS the products he hawks!  He’s an ex-scientologist that sued the church (yay for him), he sued Anna Nicole Smith, he’s sued everyone in Hollywood!  Move over Ron Popeil – Vince is the new permutation of the shyster or purveyor of snake oil.


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4 Responses to “ShamWoW, Slap Chop, and the Graty!!!”

  1. Just wait till I get my headset and go on tv hawking my personalized line of “Mister Man’s ratty ol’ t-shirts that not even he can wear anymore.” They won’t be free anymore, baby. I might even hit the State Fair circuit. And I feel the need to point out that it’s not “riches to rags”, but more like “water level poverty to rags,” in that I don’t take expensive clothes and reduce them to rags, I take CHEAP clothes and reduce them to rags. And you probably didn’t know this, but after you use them as rags, I still wear them again.

  2. Uh, actually, I do notice . . . what you don’t realize is that I eventually throw you “fashion line” into the trash (monday mornings after you have gone to work, right before the trash truck shows up).

  3. And they leave them for me in a pile around the corner. They don’t want them, either. Where did you think I got so many old ratty Thin Lizzy t-shirts?

  4. D and I like the ‘are you still with me camera guy?’ line.

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